When Feedback Hurts: A Father’s Reflection on Communication and Growth

Dear Son,

Yesterday was parent-teacher meeting day at your school. Once again, thank you for giving us a reason to feel proud. Listening to the wonderful feedback from your teachers — full of kind words, meaningful stories, and thoughtful observations — was truly heartwarming. We are so grateful for all of it.

However, there was one moment that struck me deeply and left an unexpected ache in my heart. Your science teacher mentioned that you had told him, with tears welling in your eyes, that I didn’t allow you to bring your Raspberry Pi 5 to school for your science project. He explained how he’s been trying to help you find a workaround ever since. Hearing this broke me — not because of what you said, but because I realized I may have failed to see the situation through your eyes.

Let me share my perspective. When I first heard you’d be working on a team project, my immediate concern was about the balance of responsibility. At your age, contributions among team members can be uneven, and I worried you might end up doing more than your fair share — or worse, carry the burden alone. My intention was to protect you from frustration or disappointment, not to limit your potential.

But after speaking with your teacher, I understood there was a deeper misunderstanding. What I saw as guidance came across to you as restriction. What I meant as protection felt, to you, like a lack of trust.

This experience has given me two valuable lessons — lessons I believe apply not only to parenting, but also to leadership, teamwork, and communication at every level:

First, I need to give you more room to explore, to fail, to lead, and to grow. Teamwork is one of life’s most powerful teachers. It’s not just about achieving a goal — it’s about learning how to collaborate, how to manage roles and responsibilities, and how to navigate the beautiful messiness of human dynamics. These are skills that you, like all of us, must learn through real experience.

Second, feedback is not just about what we say — it’s about how we say it. I now realize that the way I expressed my concerns lacked empathy and clarity. Next time, I’ll do better: I’ll explain the ‘why’ behind my thoughts, give you the full picture, and make sure we’re truly aligned in understanding.

Thank you for being our bright, curious, and amazing son. You remind me every day that we are all students in this journey — learning from each other, growing together, and always better when we trust and support one another.

With love,
Dad
Volkan

For more letters like this:

Volkan Yorulmaz: Behind the "Fantastic Job": Progress Bars and Punching Bags

Volkan Yorulmaz: Driving Growth: Individual Development Plan and AI Integration

Celebrating Team Spirit and #BetterTogether Value

As we approach the end of the year, our Finance Director, Inna, provided all finance colleagues with a new year dinner voucher. Today, I had the pleasure of taking my team out for a lunch, and it was a wonderful experience that truly highlighted our team spirit and #bettertogether value.

When I shared the news about the dinner vouchers, my colleagues Didem and Tomris were thrilled. Initially, we planned a coffee break for a Sunday afternoon, but we decided to change it to a lunch to keep our energy up while working on accruals and collecting invoices from vendors at the end of December.

Although I am not a fan of sushi, Didem and Tomris recommended a highly-rated sushi place close to our office. It was a new experience for me, as we usually prefer kebab or fish in Istanbul. Despite my reservations about sushi and Asian food, it was a great opportunity to bond with the team over non-business topics like children, shopping, and more.

For me, the critical aspect is being #bettertogether during these challenging times when many are on year-end vacations, and we are working hard to ensure a smooth year-end closing. Thanks to Inna, we had this chance to come together as a team and enjoy a meal together while we were in "away" mode in MS Teams.

These initiatives significantly boost our morale and productivity. After the lunch, I felt refreshed and ready to tackle tasks like the deferred tax calculation. Such occasions also strengthen our bonds, making us a more cohesive team.

Looking ahead, I hope we can continue this tradition next year. Perhaps we can explore Mexican or Italian cuisine in town, keeping diversity and inclusion in mind. Or, let's dream big—maybe we'll have the opportunity to gather with the entire PMIDF Finance team in a foreign country, experiencing new tastes together.

Thank you, Inna, for this wonderful initiative. It means a lot to us!