Time to Slow Down: Sleeplessness, Responsibilities, and Upcoming Summer

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to sleep a full 8 hours. Tonight is another one of those nights where that thought made me open a blank page... After days of following the same routine, late hours at work, and growing exhaustion, I finally came close to sleeping like a “normal person” last night. I didn’t quite get there—but there’s hope. Maybe this time, I’ll do something just for myself.

Lately, my social media feed is filled with content about the harms of poor sleep. That triggered something inside me:
“It’s time to do something for myself.”

And that’s when I realized—I haven’t really done anything for myself in a long time. No writing, no walking, not even a basic cardio workout.

Writing, for instance, used to help. I’m grateful that my recent posts received such kind feedback. But lately, even writing has become a luxury. With Nilgün away in Bursa, I’ve been in full-time “dad mode.” I’ve put off walks and workouts just to make sure Okan isn’t home alone. I know it’s just a phase. Things will change. They always do. One step at a time…

This summer looks like it will be shaped by family health matters. We’ll be spending a lot of time in hospitals and clinics—taking care of our elders. With that kind of schedule, even the idea of a vacation feels tiring. But still, a short break during my one-week annual leave sounds like something to hold on to.

Mid-June is here, school’s out, and my mind naturally drifts toward the summer house. But this year, I know we’ll spend less time there. Maybe it’s not about the quantity—but the quality. Our parents need us more than ever. The roles are changing—now it’s our turn to support them. I just hope they live long, happy, healthy lives.

As I write this, Okan is beside me, constantly asking, “What are you writing, Dad?”
And as I read my sentences out loud, I realize—I’m passing on more than just thoughts. I’m unintentionally passing on this adult stress too. But maybe it’s not a bad thing. Maybe part of growing up is learning how to deal with life’s tough sides—not just the fun ones.

But enough adult talk…
This week, I’m taking Okan to Hupalumpa.
Some fun, some laughter, some time to just be kids again.
And I’ll let him have the last word: “This is so lame, Dad. We don’t have to go.” :)

 

 

Yavaşlamak Gerek: Uykusuzluk, Sorumluluklar ve Yaklaşan Yaz Tatili

Bazen sadece şöyle bir 8 saat uyuyabilsem nasıl olurdu diye düşünüyorum. Bu gece yine o düşünceyle açtım boş sayfayı… Günlerdir aynı yolu gidip gelmenin yorgunluğu, üstüne eklenen fazla mesailer derken, nihayet dün gece “normal insanlar” gibi uyudum ve başarabilirsem bu akşam daaynı başarıyı elde etmeye biraz daha yaklaştım. Henüz hedef gerçekleşmedi ama bir umut: Belki bu kez kendim için bir şey yapabilirim.

Son zamanlarda sosyal medyada sıkça karşıma çıkan “az uykunun zararları” temalı içerikler iyice tetikledi bu düşünceyi. “Kendim için bir şey yapayım” dedim içimden… Ve o anda fark ettim: Kendim için uzun süredir hiçbir şey yapmamışım. Ne yazmak, ne yürümek, ne de basit bir egzersiz…

Yazmak mesela, iyi geliyor. Ne mutlu ki son yazdıklarım güzel geri dönüşler aldı. Ama bu aralar yazmaya bile zor vakit buluyorum. Nilgün’ün Bursa’da olmasıyla beraber “anne-baba” modunu tamamen açtım. Okan evde yalnız kalmasın diye yürüyüşleri, iş yerindeki spor salonunu bile erteledim. Ama biliyorum ki hiçbir şey sonsuza kadar sürmez; bu şartlar da değişir elbet. Yola devam…

Bu yaz, sağlık gündemiyle geçecek gibi görünüyor. Aile büyüklerinin sağlık durumları nedeniyle sık sık hastanelere gitmek, tedavi süreçlerinde yanlarında olmak önceliğimiz. Hal böyle olunca yaz tatili fikri bile yorgun hissettiriyor. Ama bir haftalık yıllık izinde “biraz olsun kopabilir miyim?” düşüncesi az da olsa heyecan katıyor.

Haziran’ın ortasında, okullar kapanırken zihnim yine yazlığa gitme hayali kuruyor. Fakat bu yaz, yazlıkta daha az kalacağımız belli. Deniz ve güneşin tadını eskisi kadar çıkaramayacağım. Belki de mesele nicelik değil, niteliktir. Aile büyüklerimizin bize daha çok ihtiyacı var artık. Roller değişti; artık onlar değil biz destek oluyoruz. Allah onlara uzun ve sağlıklı ömürler versin.

Bu satırları yazarken Okan yanımda, sürekli “ne yazıyorsun baba?” diye soruyor. Cümleleri yüksek sesle okurken fark ettim ki, aslında tüm bu gündelik stresi zaten farkında olmadan ona da aktarıyorum. O ise, bir çocuk olarak bu yüklerin neresinde olmalı? Belki de hayatın sadece güzel taraflarını değil, zorluklarını da tanımak onun için bir tür öğrenme süreci.

Ama yeter bu kadar yetişkinlik... En iyisi bu hafta Okan’ı Hupalumpa'ya götürmek. Biraz çocuk olmak, biraz oyun, biraz kahkaha… Hayatın keyifli taraflarını da göstermek gerek. Ama son cümle ondan gelsin:

“Bu ne baba ya, çok saçma, gitmesek de olur.” :) 

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Uykusuzlukla başa çıkma

Ebeveynlikte denge

Yaz tatili planlarıAile desteği

İş-yaşam dengesi

Yazmak terapidir

Çocukla kaliteli zaman

Hupalumpa etkinlikleri

Anne-baba olmak

Yıllık izin önerileri

Staying Present, Staying Ready

Five years ago, I stood at a crossroads.

Leaving behind the familiar comfort of my hometown, İzmir—a place filled with memories, roots, and family—to move to Istanbul for an intercompany transfer within Philip Morris International wasn’t an easy decision. It wasn’t just a change of city. It was a shift in rhythm, in relationships, in life as I knew it.

But I made that choice with a clear heart—for growth, for purpose, for the career I envisioned for myself. I knew it wouldn’t be easy. And it wasn’t. But it’s been worth it.

Today marks five years since I stepped into my role within PMI Global Travel Retail. And what a five years it’s been.

I’m deeply grateful for this journey—for the role I love, for the organization that continues to inspire me, and most of all, for the people I work with. Thank you for your trust, your collaboration, and for helping me stretch and grow with passion and resilience. You’ve added so much value not only to my professional life but to my personal growth, too.

A Personal Reminder: Sometimes the Best Comes Last

Just recently, I found myself sitting in my son’s school auditorium. Parents were invited to witness the innovation and creativity of their children through their technology projects. One by one, student groups were called up, their names echoing through the hall as they received their well-deserved prizes.

As each team stepped up, I couldn’t help but glance at my son’s face—and then at the stage—and then at the list I didn’t have. With each round of applause, hope dimmed just a little. I tried not to show it, but inside, I had started preparing myself: Maybe next time. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

And then it happened.

Second place.

His team.

The rush of pride, the quiet relief, the joy that caught me off guard—all in one moment. I was a proud father once again. And more importantly, I was reminded: keep calm and stay ready. The best might be right around the corner.

On Desire, and the Space In Between

For most of my life, I’ve treated ambition like a deadline. If I didn’t act fast—move, control, prove—I feared the opportunity would slip away.

But over time—and especially in this past year—I’ve started seeing desire differently.

It’s not a problem to solve. It’s a pulse. A signal that we’re alive and reaching. That something matters.

Whether it's waiting for recognition, chasing a new opportunity, or simply hoping for a moment like the one I had in that school auditorium—it’s not about always getting the thing. It’s about honoring the wanting. Letting it work on you. Letting it teach you patience, presence, and belief.

Because sometimes, when we rush toward the finish line, we miss the sweetness of the journey itself. The ache is not a void—it’s a spark. A reminder that the story is still unfolding.

And in this job, in this life, in this family—I’m learning to trust that.

To all those waiting for their moment: Stay steady. Stay open. Let it bloom.

Thanks again to my PMI family, and to my own family, for walking beside me every step of the way.

Here’s to five years, and all that’s still ahead.

PS. The alternative title of the content was: "Five Years, One Leap, and a Lesson from My Son"

Exploring Lausanne: A Memorable Visit in May 2025

I recently had the pleasure of visiting Lausanne, Switzerland, for the SFP Portfolio & Science program and meeting with my key stakeholders from May 12 to May 16, 2025. It was an enriching experience filled with insightful sessions, networking opportunities, and a chance to explore the beautiful city of Lausanne.

Highlights of the Visit

During my stay, I attended several key meetings and events. Here are some of the highlights:

SFP Portfolio & Science Program: This exclusive program was held at the Hotel de la Paix and provided a deep dive into PMI’s smoke-free technologies and science. The sessions were led by experts and offered a global perspective on our initiatives.

Networking Opportunities: I had the chance to meet and interact with colleagues from various locations, including Mark Tan, Francoise Kumpf, Seynabou Gauthier, Hans Etienne, and Mathieu Moreau.

Team Dinner: On May 13, we enjoyed a delightful team dinner, which was a great opportunity to bond and discuss ongoing projects in a relaxed setting.

Capturing the Moments

I made sure to capture some beautiful shots during my visit. Here’s a video compilation of the memorable moments from Lausanne:

Reflections and Future Plans

This visit was not only about attending sessions and meetings but also about experiencing the culture and beauty of Lausanne. The city’s charm and the warmth of the people made this trip truly special. I look forward to more such opportunities to connect and grow together.

Stay tuned for more updates and stories from my travels!

Farewell, Lausanne — Until We Meet Again

It’s Thursday afternoon, May 15th, 2025. As I slowly prepare to say goodbye to Lausanne, I sip my beer and soak in the moment. After wrapping up my training and tackling a handful of urgent tasks, I found myself wandering — once again — from the hilltop down to the lakeside, repeating the same old phrase: "What a beautiful city. We’re not really living compared to these gifted people, are we?"

Despite the warm weather and people in t-shirts, I showed up at the lake in a jacket, backpack on my shoulders and shopping bags in hand — quite the scene. I ended up back at Lacustre, the same spot where I had dinner last Sunday. History was about to repeat itself, but the table I’d reserved last time was taken, and dinner service wouldn’t start until 5 p.m. Still, I decided to stick around, watch the sun go down, and enjoy a little moment of solitude. The rest could wait.

It’s oddly noisy here, and I find it hard to write. But watching people chat, laugh, and live in the moment makes me happy for them. No one’s glued to their phones or obsessed with selfies — something I deeply admire. There’s so much I envy about this city. After seeing it with fresh eyes this time, I can’t help but question those who insist, "Turkey is the most beautiful country in the world." Beautiful, yes — but how well do they really know the rest of the world?

I didn’t feel this way the last time I was here, but this trip has left a much deeper impression. Hopefully, it won’t be too long before I return.

What made this visit truly special were the people. I got to reconnect with my mentor, Mark — it was inspiring to sit with him, share stories, and soak up his wisdom. I’m genuinely grateful to have him in my life. Once again, he hosted me generously and took me out for dinner — not as a tourist, but as someone experiencing Lausanne like a local. Thank you, Mark. You’ve got a big heart — and a strong wallet! (This is how AI handles the translation from Turkish to English!)

Yes, I know I’m being a bit sentimental, but I’d rather put these feelings into words than pretend everything is picture-perfect on Instagram. Truth is, there’s a cost to all this. My average sleep has dipped below six hours again, and I’m going to bed far too late just to keep up with unanswered emails from the day. But then again, I’d be replying to those same emails in Istanbul — just without this view, this sunset, and this feeling.

They just closed the shade that was protecting me from the sun. My screen is now glaring, my beer warming up, and my face slightly burning. Looking at the bright side — literally — there’s a boat pulling in. Let’s see who’s coming off. Time to soak in some natural vitamin D and do a bit of people-watching.

Tomorrow, I’ll be working from Lausanne office, and in the evening, I’ll say goodbye to this beautiful city. Hopefully, only for a little while.

Update:

After writing the paragraphs above, I climbed uphill back toward the hotel — and boy, the heat took a toll. Before heading in, I stopped at my favorite burger joint, ordered my usual, and enjoyed every bite. I even felt so inspired that, after months of silence, I left a glowing Google Maps review. What happened next? Well, the usual: Outlook, SAP, and all the rest. I also played a game for a while… but I’ll keep that one to myself. Some things are better left unsaid.