I Remembered I Wasn't Superman

Heading to bed before 10 PM on this Sunday evening, laptop on my lap, and experiencing the justifiable pride of having "No Unread Mails"... Is this a luxury? I’m not sure, but I can’t describe how much I’ve missed this feeling.

Of course, this is somewhat the "calm before the storm." It isn't exactly a profound prediction to guess that work won't magically ease up by tomorrow morning; a mountain of emails, messages, and calls will inevitably rain down on me. But still, I need to experience the momentary peace of having gotten things on track, at least as of tonight.

In the past, at the end of very difficult days, I would wear my exhaustion like a badge of honor and say, "I earned every penny I made today right down to the last cent." Now, the intensity has increased so much that those "hard days" have given way to hard weeks, and even never-ending months.

"Excuses, Excuses..."

Recently, I was messaging my mentor regarding some additional analyses he recommended I do (I’m keeping his name private so he doesn't feel uncomfortable if he reads this, though calling him "my mentor" does sound cool). Overwhelmed by my current workload, I wrote to him saying I could "only do it at night."

His reply was short and sharp: "Excuses, excuses."

When I started listing my tasks to defend myself, he hit me with a sentence that felt like a wake-up call: "The loads you carry are actually the ones you placed on yourself. You need to remember you aren't Superman."

While I was trying to process this shock, a critique from my wife that same evening sealed the deal. When she questioned—with a slightly reproachful tone—why I was working on even irrelevant topics and why I was the one running to fix everything, I was forced to stop and think.

Stopping to Think: The Forgotten Action

Yes, "stopping to think"... It turns out this is the action I’ve skipped most amidst this hustle.

Reflecting on it, I realized that in my desire to be appreciated and to show high ownership in these corporate management processes, I took on more and more. As I tried to maintain the same quality in all my other tasks, this returned to me as overtime shifts stretching into the middle of the night.

The result? I couldn't pay enough attention to my family, and I started noticing health issues—small but whispering, "I'm here." The price was becoming heavier than I thought.

There are only a few days left in the year. I am still motivated to push through and complete this journey with the momentum of the approaching new year. But I’ve put the lesson I learned this week in my pocket: I am not Superman, and I don’t have to be.

I hope that in the new year, I can continue on a more balanced path without forgetting the lessons taught by these intense days.

For now, it’s time to enjoy "Zero Unread Mail"

A Parking Ticket, a Bad Investment, and the Simple Truth About Growth

A few personal thoughts on my struggle with work stress, learning to say "no," and trying to find a simpler path.

Finally, after weeks, I've got my laptop (yes, the personal one) open, ready to dive into those long-delayed emails (Ozan Varol and Mark Manson, thank you for waiting!) and pour out the feelings that have been with me for a while. Looking out the window, an ache in my neck and a stiff back tell the story of my stress better than words ever could.

I'm in one of those familiar cycles again: working relentlessly (till midnights - YouTube videos is my best friend in the background), taking on every responsibility, struggling to say "no" (or perhaps, unable to say it at all), and finding myself shouldering all the burdens. Performance review season, critical projects, crucial audits – my life's priorities constantly revolve around work.

It's almost comical; last weekend, I even got a parking ticket because I prioritized the company's expenses, parking on the street instead of a paid lot to avoid creating extra cost with the benefit car. The irony? I ended up paying the fine myself.

The Holiday Hustle: A Battle Within

Today (Happy Republic Day!) is a public holiday, and I'm at home, locked in a fierce internal battle over whether to check my work emails. Yesterday was a half-day, and I managed to shut down my computer around 3 PM. My family and I headed to Kadıköy for Okan's tech shopping, followed by a delightful coffee break and dinner. On the way home, extending our drive through Moda, Caddebostan, and Bağdat Caddesi, one part of me urged, "Relax, disconnect from work." Yet, the other whispered, "What if something important happened? Just a quick glance."

Of course, the second voice won. Just as I settled into the couch, ready to watch YouTube, a critical meeting invitation from the auditors, with a demanding agenda, popped up in my inbox. For the entire hour-long video, my eyes were on the screen, but my mind was racing through everything I needed to prepare for that audit meeting. What happened next? The video ended, and I went straight to my room, working until past midnight. It's almost noon now, and I've been resisting checking my emails for about 12 hours. I occasionally check MS Teams messages, but surely, that doesn't break my "digital detox," right?

From Performance Objectives to Life's Lessons

This morning, while catching up on personal emails, my thoughts naturally drifted to performance objectives, especially with our annual performance review period upon us. I recently finalized and shared my yearly evaluations with my manager, hoping all this effort translates into tangible growth and development. This train of thought also sparked an idea: perhaps I should write a blog post on annual performance reviews for LinkedIn. I'm weighing whether I'll find the energy and if it might attract any negative feedback.

I've also realized lately that I'm using this blog almost like a therapy session (especially when I write in Turkish). Recently, in a meeting with the Dubai team (which I joined, again, because I couldn't say "no" to supporting them), a senior executive honored me by praising my blog at the start of the meeting. It became a great ice-breaker, and when people asked what I wrote about, I said "personal development and finance."

However, I'm well aware that I haven't written much about finance lately. That meeting reminded me of a financial lesson I'd wanted to share. While I used to write lengthy posts with screenshots, now a few sentences will do:

Last Monday, I was making a foreign currency investment. Unlike usual, I decided to compare exchange rates across banks. Akbank was my go-to, but Enpara offered a much more advantageous rate. I checked Enpara's website for fees, noting that recipient bank fees could vary, then looked at Enpara's own transaction fees. There was still a significant advantage. I completed the FX purchase and sent it to Akbank. Poof! A fee was deducted that made my "clever" maneuver pointless. A lesson learned, with a price tag attached.

Simplicity: The Ultimate Investment Strategy for Life

This experience wasn't just a financial lesson; it was a profound reminder: life should be simple, straightforward. To tie it back to finance, there's no need to overcomplicate investments, jumping from one asset to another trying to optimize every single penny. We've seen how well gold, often underestimated by many, has performed recently. Simply accumulating gold can outperform many other investment vehicles.

Consistency, solid assets, and a clear objective. That's the entire philosophy, and keeping it simple is the key. No need to make it complicated.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go pursue my goal of reading a bit more... and perhaps finally achieving some genuine mental performance and growth outside of work.

Behind the "Fantastic Job": Progress Bars and Punching Bags

Dear Father,

First of all, it's great to have the chance to dedicate some quality time to writing this letter, just one week after the previous one. It's early Sunday morning, and for the second day in a row, I've slept more than seven hours—finally recovering from the fatigue of sleeping only five to six hours each night over the past week.

It’s been a week of “getting used to it.” After the disappointment of last week, I had scheduled meetings from Monday to Thursday, where I had to present various assessments. This required me to simplify tables, check with consultants, update the files, present them to stakeholders, record and archive the sessions, and document the meeting notes. After each session, I felt like a progress bar in my mind moved a little further. Completing all sessions—especially Thursday’s—without any issues was the main objective of the week. Thank God, I managed to do that.

But it wasn’t over. On Thursday afternoon, our finance director rightfully asked for a status update on the first batch by Friday. I had planned to complete many quarter-end, statutory, and ad-hoc tasks by Friday, but I had to reschedule them. I managed that too—and thankfully, I heard the words “fantastic job” as feedback.

Yesterday, I told my aunt about this appreciation, and she asked me what it meant. Clearly, “fantastic job” doesn’t hold the same recognition value in Turkish for someone in their seventies. It reminded me of my days in Romania, when I was a guest auditor—back then, it was the first time I heard “fantastic” as praise.

When I finally stepped away from my laptop on Friday evening, I had nearly ten emails I’d already read but marked as unread to revisit. Still, I had to head to the shopping mall where my son watched “A Minecraft Movie” for the second time since its release. I kept repeating to myself: “Oh my God, thank you, it’s over.”

It was a heavy week, and thankfully I won’t be in presentation mode in my upcoming meetings. That, in itself, is something I’m grateful for. I know next week won’t be light either—statutory closings, treasury activities, and ad-hoc requests will keep me busy. But, as they say, “this is the way.”

Aside from work updates, this week also marked the end of my three-month coaching journey. At the end of December 2024, our function offered me an external coaching program in recognition of my efforts in an initiative. My coach, based in Switzerland, had spent his entire career in multinational companies. One day, he lost his job and began this new path.

Whatever I shared with him about my work and interactions made complete sense to him—he had lived similar experiences. On top of that, his technical knowledge enriched our sessions, making the three months fulfilling.

In our final session last week, he left me with some warnings. When we began, I took a “saboteur assessment,” and my top saboteur was being a Pleaser. Let me share the definition:

“The Pleaser has a strong need to be liked by people and attempts to earn it by helping, pleasing, rescuing, or flattering them. The Pleaser needs frequent reassurance from others about their acceptance and affection and can’t express needs openly and directly. Instead, the Pleaser expresses needs indirectly by making people feel obligated to reciprocate care.”

You can read more or take the test here: https://www.positiveintelligence.com/blog/pleaser-saboteur/

Michael, my coach, ended the session by warning me that working so hard to please others could eventually lead to burnout—waking up one day with no motivation toward work or to-dos. This has stuck with me, and I’m doing my best to find balance. That’s partly why I’m taking the time to write. And surely, I need to make time for my daily walks and workouts when I go to the office.

Let me briefly talk about exercising. Yesterday, a rainy Saturday, I dropped my son off at his special school and then went to the office to use the gym. Normally, I prefer cardio and avoid weights. But after checking my weight and realizing I’ve gained a bit since Ramadan, I started with elliptical walking. After 30 minutes, I noticed the sandbag and boxing gloves. I geared up and started kicking the sandbag, thinking of all the emails I’d been tagged in—not about the people, but the extra tasks and requests I didn’t say no to, trying to please others.

It’s not usually my style, but it was exactly what I needed. When I removed the gloves, my hands were red. I found a disinfectant spray and applied it to the sore areas—it reminded me of the pandemic days…

Now, I hear my son and wife have woken up. That’s my cue to say goodbye—until next time.

Best wishes,
Volkan

PS. This letter is written to my "father," and there is a metaphor here; he knows himself.